Doing my last article on jobbers made me come to a realization, it’d be really interesting to do a new series of sorts. One built around fixing a less than stellar story by using the tools already given. So let’s begin with the first Alien vs Predator film which is a fairly salvageable story. As you can guess, spoilers ahead if for some reason you haven’t found it.
So the film still opens and proceeds as it did originally. The satellite detects the heat signature in Antarctica and Max Stafford is sent to recruit Lex as she mountain climbs.
But this time, it isn’t Charles Bishop Weyland who is assembling the team in the name of Weyland Industries. The person in question should be “a” Weyland but not Bishop. The original Alien is set well past 2099 and this is in 2004.
As Prometheus shows, Bishop isn’t the founder of Weyland Industries but Peter. Now since this film was originally created before Prometheus was a concept, we’ll just borrow the name as a placeholder for the Weyland ancestor behind this. Peter will still be sick but far younger than originally. He is a genius after all so this would really show how far ahead of the rest of the world he is. When Lex confronts him about his illness he won’t say it’s to secure his legacy as well as his companies. While he admits he is sick, he’ll bring up that he has already made a breakthrough in the robotics field (referencing the easter egg the movie originally had to hint at the future Synthetics) and if he lives or dies doesn’t matter. What does matter is solving this mystery and securing whatever it is they’ve tracked. Weyland Industries/Weyland-Yutani has always been a profit first type of business so his more blatant total disregard for his own health would really set the impression for what awaits them. The Whaling Station scene continues as before with the Predator trio touching down and decimating the security staff that awaited them.
The next few scenes continue the same as the original until the fight between Chopper, Celtic, & the Humans. This is where things will start to line up with my ideas from the How to be a Jobber article but I’ll reiterate and go into more detail this time.
Chopper will die at the claws of Grid and the battle between Celtic & Grid will soon commence. That fight scene was awesome so we’ll leave it be. HOWEVER, this time Peter is slower to try and escape. Being captivated by the battling aliens, especially Grid. Eventually, he is pulled away before the fight becomes too intense. Grid will, once more, try and sneak attack Celtic only to get caught in the net that gives her the signature grid scars. She’ll break free but in the moment’s hesitation it creates, she flees. With no means to shoot her down, Celtic is forced to pursue her.
Back with the surviving humans, Weyland’s sickness begins to act up when Scar arrives on the scene. He offers to sacrifice himself while Lex and Sebastian flee. But this time, Weyland is more devious like the later films. The moment Scar spares him he doesn’t go for a spiteful sneak attack. He just lets Scar take the lead and begins trailing behind him. Lex will eventually be separated from Sebastian and we learn the backstory of the Pyramid like originally.
The pair is separated and Lex is confronted by Scar over the stolen Plasmacasters. But now, Celtic arrives to join him. Scar will see the missing armor from Celtics fight with Grid and knows what it means. Celtic, in kind, will see the Xenomorph symbol burned into Scars helmet. This would make Scar the new leader and while Celtic does prepare to rip Lex apart, Scar stops him. With only one Plasmacaster, Scar retrieves it while Celtic remains firmly focused on Lex. His attention finally shifts when the Alien horde arrives. Scar begins to dispatch them but when Celtic notices Grid, he leaps into the fray. Forcing Scar to hold off on his attack.
Unfortunately, this spell the end as Celtic is too focused on regaining his honor to consider he can’t take on multiple Xenomorphs at once. He is quickly dispatched by Grid like in the original scene while Scar and Lex watch on. Grid retreats once more as the other Xenomorphs attack and fail to kill Scar & Lex. Lex having proven herself, unlike the older Celtic who died before both of them, he repeats the scene teaching her about Xenomorph acid and arms her with a makeshift Combistick. They find the hive and try to save Sebastian as before but are too late as he’s killed via Chestburster.
Just then, Peter makes his presence known by his trademark cough. Lex is confused by his survival and that he seemed more intrigued than upset about everyone’s death. In a surprise pseudo-callback to Predator 2, he implies he’s well aware of the Yautja and the Xenomorph. But running into both of them at the same time was a happy accident. Now that he’s seen them firsthand, he’s even more determined to acquire and learn from them (Referencing the companies obsession with it far in the future). Lex is upset with Weyland and this time, she’s the one who prompts the self-destruct feature. Having earned his trust, Scar is willing to destroy the pyramid in her bid to deny Weyland his new specimens. Peter tries to stop the countdown sequence as Lex and Scar escape.
Grid leads the survivors of the Hive in freeing the queen leading to a final confrontation between Grid and Scar. This time, Grid is the one who pounces onto Scars back and stabs him through the shoulder after ripping off the Plasmacaster. Lex attacks Grid with her spear, giving Scar an opening to get free and avenge his fallen brethren by beheading Grid with his Shuriken. The two flee and we see Peter one final time still inside the Hive. His obsession causing him to try to stop the self-destruct sequence. He fails and the remainder of the movie continues as before.
So what exactly would these changes do as a whole that I feel would make it a better film?
- It wouldn’t break the Alien timeline by having Weyland die in 2004. Michael Bishop appears in Alien 3 in the year 2179 as the one responsible for originally creating the Synthetics. AvP originally implies this 2004 Bishop is somehow the same one over a hundred years later. While it is entirely possible he has been making Synthetics since 2004 it’s never made clear or suggested. But in this version, we make it explicit that it’s been run by the same amoral Synthetics. It also makes more sense he’d be in charge of the highly corrupt Weyland-Yutani by showing he’s just as dirty and obsessed as everyone else. It’d even be a nice way to reference how the Special Agents in Predator 2 knew about the Predators existence by showing someone knew about the Xenomorphs as well. In a dark twist showing why the Colonial Marines got founded in the first place. It was because they already knew how dangerous they could be.
- It highlights the Clan aspect of the Predators. While the original did give us a trio of Predators, we don’t really see anything to suggest their age dynamic or by extension placement in their Clan. By allowing Celtic to escape his early death we can show his more brutish personality and how the earlier scenes imply he’s the leader but is now the follower (even if briefly).
- Grid feels more impactful. Outside of a nice design that makes her standout, Grid didn’t appear all that much. She had her one fight where she got her scars, hid in the background of the Plasmacaster fight, helped free the Queen, and then just stared menacingly at the end. But by having her fight multiple times it really conveys that Grid was effectively the Queens Praetorian Guard rather than just a fancy looking Xenomorph.
- Scar using his bomb makes more sense. In the original, he just agreed to do it to prevent the Xenomorphs from reaching the surface. But it’s also Scars culture to hunt them so why would he want to do that? He isn’t failing despite his brothers falling. But now it comes off as a sign that he respects her and is willing to do something he wouldn’t normally do just to assist her.
Overall, I believe my ideas would make the story flow better on its own and as a part of the Alien film series. You know, without people going out of their way to make sure you know it isn’t canon. If you enjoyed this Story Rebuild I’ll be sure to do more in the future.